“First Person” shares the stories of people who make a life here, in their words. Conversations are edited for clarity and length.
Every month, a growing number of Harpswell men attend ROMEOs — Retired Older Men Eating Out — lunches organized by Harpswell Aging at Home. In addition to an opportunity to socialize, they are treated to a homemade meal prepared by Robin Venditti Stoll, a retired investment manager who delights in nourishing her neighbors.
Growing up in Boston, my mom was first-generation Irish and my dad was first-generation Italian. For both of them, everything was about Sunday. In the morning, you go to church, get your doughnut — our big treat for the week — and then everything was about Sunday supper.
I have a big, loud, rambunctious family. We would come to that table once a week and it was, you know, “Bless us, our Lord, for these, thy gifts which we are about to receive, blah, blah, blah,” super fast, and then we’d all look up. We’d say, “Amen,” and my father would say, “Mangia!”
It wasn’t this polite, take a dish and pass. It was like, grab it before it’s gone. This crazy love for food and family. Italians always do salad at the end, so my dad would pass the big orange salad bowl around. That’s when the conversation would start. And then it would linger, and it was that lingering around that table that brings the fondest memories. That’s where, honestly, I felt most loved.
On Sundays, we were nourished, and not only with food. That’s where I found my love for cooking — and if I can get a crowd to the point of lingering, that’s what it’s all about. That’s what I try to do with these guys.
You can be a cook who follows a recipe, but, to me, the secret ingredient is love. My daughters all encouraged me: “Mom, you love to bake. You should start a business.” And I’m like, no, no, no. I bake for all my friends. One holiday they came up and made me a business card, and the tagline was, “Baking is love made visible.” So technically I have a business, but a “business” would mean that I’m actually making a profit, right?
Business, not my forte. Food, that’s my love language. I worked as a quantitative investment manager; my happy places are in the kitchen and in front of a spreadsheet. After I retired, I became a professional volunteer: PTO president I don’t know how many times. When we lived in Connecticut, three women and I created an education foundation to support not only the schools but also the senior center and library. We had 12th graders from the high school go to the senior center and teach them how to use iPads. In the 10 years I was on the board, we raised over a million dollars in our small town.
Our youngest daughter went to high school near Greenfield, Massachusetts. There were so many homeless people. I remember driving through town and there was this huge line outside a church. I’m like, gosh, what is going on? I pulled into the parking lot and I went inside. It was a soup kitchen night.
I said, “Do you guys need somebody to cook?” The woman in charge said, “We had two people call out today. Pull on a pair of gloves.” I met some of the most amazing people — homeless people, mothers with children whom they couldn’t feed. The next week, I went to church and it was all about the Beatitudes — feed the hungry. I was like, wow, this is a moment for me.
Fast forward to 2020, when we moved to Harpswell. I saw something in the Anchor about Harpswell Aging at Home and their Meals in a Pinch program. I thought, oh my gosh, these are my people. You bake a dish, you bring it to the church. Then I started driving meals to people’s homes. That was really special, sometimes sad, because some of the people I delivered to passed away.
I started helping with meals for the monthly Lunch with Friends gatherings. That’s when I met Tom Mahoney (coordinator of the ROMEOs program). I found out he was feeding the retired guys hot dogs. Hot dogs! I love Tom, but I was razzing him out about his food choice, and somehow I ended up being the volunteer who was gonna cook for him.
It’s been so much fun. Now we’ve got a pretty solid crowd of 70 guys, so many that we had to limit the numbers and move from the Grange to a bigger space at the Orr’s Island Schoolhouse.
We have a group that comes early, just to chat. Some of these guys, they sit at home and click, click, click in front of the TV. And now they’re coming for a little social time. They eat, they listen to that month’s speaker and chat about whatever the topic is. And then they linger — and I couldn’t be happier. I poke my head out of the kitchen and it just makes me smile.
What dishes do they love? Oh, my gosh, mother of God, if one more person asks for macaroni and cheese! I have this recipe that I used to make for my daughters’ field hockey teams. I call it field hockey macaroni. What’s the secret ingredient? Do I have to divulge? Well, in addition to gobs of butter, it’s — and I’m ashamed to admit it — Velveeta. It melts beautifully.
There are a number of vegetarians and vegans. In January, we did pies — chicken pot pie, shepherd’s pie, but I also baked a pie with nuts and pistachios and lentils. Super healthy and packed with protein. I don’t know if I have any gluten-free folks, but I’m prepared for it. For February, I made chickpea salad and gluten-free pasta with pesto sauce.
I’m surprised at how much joy I get out of it. As I’m packing up after lunch, and I look out, and I see the linger, it just makes me so happy. It fills my sails like nothing else. And when I’m packing up my car and I know I have a bunch of dirty dishes that I get to go home and clean now, I think, I did good today. I made a difference.
You know, we live in a really special community. We’ve moved around a fair amount, lived in a lot of different communities. I haven’t seen anyplace like Harpswell. Neighbors helping neighbors, caring about each other. I swear, I get more out of this than I give. I feel blessed to have the opportunity.
