Erin O'Mara

Imagine you're stuck in traffic on the Mass Pike with no radio and your passenger is droning on about whether there should have been room for Jack on the floating door in "Titanic." That's how bored I want you to be.

We are the King of all we survey. We decree the King's lawn will green up immediately and without regard for the weather. The grass will be beautiful and healthy, and will slow-roll any growth. In fact, it will grow slowly all summer so the King will not have to mow more than once per week, even in July after three straight weeks of rain.

I was today years old when I discovered that a caterpillar's body liquefies inside its chrysalis. Their bodies turn to gloppy, squirty goo, and it would be reasonable and rational to think dissolving is the end of any story. But it's not.

Let's take a moment and acknowledge the greatest gift the good souls of Ireland have ever shared. Groundhog Day.

Of course I'm not going camping. Thank you for suggesting it with a straight face, as if deep in your bones you feel it's a possibility. I'm impressed by your sense of adventure when you want to trudge through a swamp, but when you ask me to go with you, I wonder, "Do you even know me?"

If you think "cereal" can be classified as soup, we can't be friends. Really. If you see me on the street, just scoot on by. Don't make eye contact that will lure me into thinking you know where cereal belongs in your kitchen and where soup fits in your life. Don't say hello.

Dear Santa, I'm feeling salty and it's not because walking through Harpswell's mineral-laden sea air is like a day at the spa.

Nine high school juniors leaned toward the screen to hear a guest speaker share that he was born blue, spent weeks in the neonatal intensive care unit, and had his first experience with homelessness when his mom took him from the hospital. His introduction to life was full of struggle.

My parents downsized, sold their home and moved, and I found a trove of tributes to my father as I helped them purge.

Do you remember long, slow summer days that meandered and stretched on a gentle, endless path? Do you remember making your own fun and recruiting others to join?