Though his trial has not started yet, I am looking forward to learning why he thought he could get away with it. Did he think he was untouchable because he is rich and famous? Because he once carried a “license to kill”? I am speaking, of course, about the actor Pierce Brosnan, who played James Bond and has been charged with committing two crimes while visiting Yellowstone National Park on Nov. 1, 2023. On both charges, including “foot travel in a thermal area,” Brosnan maintains his innocence.

That someone would end up in legal hot water for exploring the hot springs in a park is ironic but not surprising.

On Jan. 13, the day of the high tide, I read a weather alert on my phone to “stay away from the coast.” The warning was impractical. It was like telling someone who lives in Maine to stay away from trees or rocks.

And that’s why, later that day, near the time of high tide, I took a walk to see if the ocean had crested the bridge on Bethel Point Road. When I arrived, most of the bridge was underwater. In a driveway close by, a man sat in his truck surveying the scene. Every now and then, pickup trucks boldly plowed their way through the water and over the bridge. The simple truth is that when people are told to “stay away from” hazards, such as hot springs and astronomical high tides, they are more likely to go toward them.

Those who want to protect us should use reverse psychology. They should employ language that beckons us to come toward what we are supposed to stay away from. If I went to the dentist and she told me to drink more sugary carbonated beverages, I’d likely raise my eyebrows and think to myself, “I already have enough on my plate — and now you’re adding this, too!”

It is because of our proclivity to make nonsensical decisions very easily and very willingly that the phrase “I told you so” was birthed into existence right after the phrase “Stay away from” was swaddled with a warm, not hot, blanket. I have been a witness, though not a participant, to someone using aerosol hair spray (“Stay away from flames!”), a potato, PVC piping, and a blowtorch (“Stay away from cans of aerosol hair spray!”) to create a potato gun. It was all fun and games watching a potato disappear into the woods at a high rate of velocity and altitude. But when the potato gun blew apart, sending a spud into the mouth of the person standing next to me and causing minor dental damage, I remember someone among us said, “I told you so.”

If I were a dentist and had to fix up someone hurt by a freak potato gun accident, I would encourage the patient to go stand near a place where dynamite is used to demolish a sharp-edged metal structure underneath an eroding cliff face or to move in closer to fireworks shows, especially in drought-ridden areas with highly combustible vegetation. This advice would certainly work to keep the person away from the emergency room, for a while anyway.

Until the next warning comes along telling me to “stay away from” an oncoming natural disaster, possibly rabid baby raccoons, highly processed Twinkies, or foot travel in a thermal area, I will bide my time and reflect on these words someone said about attraction: “Attraction is the alchemy of emotions, where the right blend of understanding, respect, and chemistry creates an enchanting bond.” And with the right blend of ingredients, a really cool explosion, too.

Gregory Greenleaf lives in Harpswell and teaches high school English. He ascribes, prescribes and subscribes to many old-fashioned ideas, but especially Charles Dickens’ observation that “There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.”