Never Not Amazed: Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

I hope you’re well as you ramp up to the biggest night of your year!

I’ve been really, really good this year. My 2023 behavior borders on exemplary. (I’m not sure how your “naughty/nice” algorithm works so just want to be sure I don’t get any demerits for saying how good I’ve been because it’s not bragging if it’s true.)

I found a perfect sweater. I hear we’re due for a snowy winter and I can’t be too snug. I also want new shoes. It’s impossible to have too many shoes and though my partner disagrees, and I’ve heard him sigh more than once as he walks by my shoe cache in the entry hall, I know he can be convinced that the joy on my face when I open a new pair on Christmas will be worth the next 364 days of his irritation.

I also think I can convince him to get them for me, and my parents love a good list as much as you do, so that sweater’s coming my way and the elves don’t have to do the knitting.

I’m not writing to let you know my wants are covered. I’ve got some big Santa-only wishes.

I don’t know the limits of your magic or if those limits have ever been tested, so I wonder if you might like some stretch goals. I’m told moving outside your comfort zone is incredible for personal development.

I’d like some food that has no calories and doesn’t taste like plastic, chemicals or vegetables. Food scientists have been working on this since food science existed and so far, the best they’ve come up with are potato chips with a weird fat substitute that gives people diarrhea (or so I’ve heard).

Maybe focus on a single snack and see how it goes. Chocolate chip cookies are a good place to start.

Thank you for managing the weather pattern. If anyone doubts the magic dome over Maine, they just need to look at the path of this past summer’s wildfire smoke. It fell heavily upon New York and Massachusetts and then went out to sea before swirling around most of Maine and heading back up to Canada.

That’s a pretty neat trick, Santa, and I’m grateful for clean air.

Our neighbors across the country and world (Yes, even those New Yorkers) also need clean air and ways to protect their homes and families. Maybe you could look at the root of the problem and apply a little magic? At least deliver more science kits to kids and adults everywhere. You never know what might spark imagination and innovation.

You’ve probably received letters from heartbroken families, so you know senseless violence visited our state and continues to visit cities and towns around our country.

Can you deliver some extra care to the families struggling with loss and pain?

We also need solutions. Staying in a stuck place that allows the cycle of violence, shock, and violence again isn’t working.

We’re resilient and we’ll work through pain to recovery. We’ll keep showing up, no matter the threat and churning anxiety that puts us on edge.

But should we have to?

The world’s scary these days and things feel out of control. Leaders near and far seem dug into strategies that haven’t worked in the past and aren’t working now.

Can the elves manufacture common sense for our leaders? Even a little bit could go a long way. They’ll have to make the packaging so enticing that recipients can’t help but open it up, and the contents might have to be deceiving so they’ll use it.

I don’t want to tell you how to do your job and I know you might not have ample enough stores to handle the demand — but it might make sense to be liberal with coal distribution this year. If worldwide bad behavior is messing with the naughty calculations, I volunteer to help your team get the list together.

Too much to ask? Please remember I’ve spent the year banking behavior for this moment. Normal, everyday-people business isn’t getting the job done, so I’m appealing to you, a magical being, to throw your considerable weight around.

You’ve done a lot to encourage us to be our best and times have changed. Without visibility into the list-making process, people don’t believe in the results, so we aren’t toeing the line like we used to.

Maybe the problem is we lost our idealism so long ago we don’t feel the empty space within where it used to sit. We keep on doing our best and don’t remember we ever had better tools.

Just one more wish for this year.

Could you add a smidge of time to each stop to whisper into our dreams, nudge our subconscious, and remind us we are magical too? We can tap our magic and do great things.

Please wish everyone a merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, peaceful Bodhi Day, and happy winter solstice, and wish Kwanzaa blessings to all.

And I’m serious about my offer to compile the naughty list. You know where I am.

Erin O’Mara lives in Harpswell and serves on the Harpswell News Board of Directors.