“First Person” shares the stories of people who make a life here, in their words. Conversations are edited for clarity and length.
For two decades, Veronica Gonsior has served as pastor of the Cundy’s Harbor Community Church of the Nazarene. The 69-year-old former aircraft mechanic came to the ministry later in life and serves her hometown with support from her husband, Dean.
Dean and I were riding our Harley-Davidson through the cornfields of Illinois on our way to visit Minnesota, where he grew up. It was August and the corn was tall. It was like riding through a tunnel. The pastor here, Bob Herring, was retiring, and I was on the board helping to pick a new one.
Dean was cruising along and I was on the back having a conversation with God, who was saying, “I want you to be the new pastor.” I had this running argument with him of all the reasons why I couldn’t. “When we got married, Dean didn’t sign up to be a pastor’s wife. I’m a woman. I don’t like to get up in front of people.” I threw every reason I could think of at God.
Back home, the district superintendent of the Nazarene Church met with the board and asked, “Who is God telling you your next pastor should be?” Everybody’s silent and then my brother, Buster — this is a family church, I’m related to most everybody in Cundy’s Harbor — asked the superintendent, “Well, who is God telling you it should be?” The superintendent said, “She’s sitting right here in this room.”
That was 20 years ago.
I was born and raised here. My father is a fisherman. My brother, all my uncles — fishermen. Every Sunday, I came to this church and sat in the little wooden chairs with the other children. I love this place. Then, in 1977, I joined the Air Force and met this guy.
I was an aircraft mechanic and he worked hydraulics. A lot of the flight controls and landing gear that I worked on were hydraulically actuated. We worked well together and eventually decided to take that show on the road.
We got married after a year, went to Germany for two years and came back here in ’82. We were living with my parents, but the economy wasn’t good. There were really no jobs, so we went to California. I went back into the Air Force and Dean went to school to study electronic engineering.
We had two babies in California and found ourselves at a crossroads. I didn’t care if it was Maine or Minnesota, but I wanted to raise our children near family. My dad had given us a small piece of property here, so we came to Cundy’s Harbor. Dean worked at Bath Iron Works. I had a sewing business for a while, and I worked at Skillins Greenhouses.
Then our pastor decided to retire. I was very active in the church. I had been running vacation Bible school, Christmas plays. I think the Lord protected me from the call until I was ready to accept it. I’m not an outgoing person naturally, and when I would get up and do announcements or something, Pastor Bob said my skirt would be shaking. I was so nervous.
In the Church of the Nazarene, you can take the courses you need to become ordained without going away to school. This is the most rewarding job I’ve ever had. I love the people of Cundy’s Harbor. I’m there when they’re dying, there for their weddings, there for the birth of their children. There are times I still shake — it’s a huge responsibility.
I hope I never get over the privilege that I have to bring the word of God to his people, to be the voice of encouragement, to challenge them, to correct them. I try very hard to make sure that it is not my opinion or my thoughts, but it is the word of God.
There are times when I have to say to people, “OK, I’m putting on my pastor hat. I’m not your niece. I’m not your sister, I’m not your friend, I’m not your mother. This is your pastor speaking to you now.”
When a couple wants to get married, Dean and I take them through a seven-week session covering everything from financials to fighting fair. Every couple I marry, I give them a lifetime of free marriage counseling. One of the big things I see when marriages aren’t healthy is that couples forget why they love each other, why they got married.
It’s easy for us as human beings to focus on the negative, instead of being thankful and appreciating the good qualities. I have them make a list of everything that you love about this person and take some time to think about it. I practice that myself. I keep a gratitude list and write something positive every day about this man, Dean. Being content isn’t human nature; it’s a learned behavior.
We have experienced a lot of deaths in the last 20 years and have come to the conclusion that it’s a blessing to be part of it. People talk about wanting to be present at the birth of their child or grandchild. I feel it’s equally important for families to be with their loved ones when they’re dying. I know and love all of these people, and when we lose one, it’s very difficult. But it’s also a sacred, holy experience.
When I grew up, I knew everybody, and everybody knew I was Bud Darling’s kid. It used to be when you went down through the harbor, all the houses were family and friends of family. Now most of the houses along the shore belong to people from out of state, mostly people who come for the summer.
Some of them come to church when they’re here and we love that. Some don’t. We try to do things to bring people together. You moved here because you loved it — not just the scenery, but also the people. Come and be part of the community.
Every summer, I do the Blessing of the Fleet. We use a VHF radio so that any boat with a radio can hear. Being the daughter of a fisherman, it means a lot to me. I can’t speak for all the fishermen, but I would be willing to bet that most of them believe in God. I don’t see how you could be out there in his great creation and not know that there’s something.
It’s important for the fishermen to know that we appreciate them and recognize that it can be dangerous. We want them to know that we care about them and want them to be blessed, to be protected and to continue on our rich heritage.
